If you want to keep and create customers then it is essential that you have rapport with them
If you have ever had anything to do with sales in your life you have probably had it rammed down your throat that it is essential that you have rapport with your prospect or customer. And actually I completely agree! In essence people buy from people they like and the people we like are ones we feel really do understand us, understand what we are about and also have some empathy with the problems we face. The principle I am about to share with you works either in or out of business so it can also be deployed at a social level as well.
So in a nutshell, by my definition, rapport is all about being on the same waveband as your customers and prospects (or others) and about them feeling at a profound level, that you really are in tune with them.
Like trying to fill a bath with a teaspoon!
Now listen, before I go any further lets make it clear that rapport is a massive topic and it’s one about which I could easily right a third book. With this in mind trying to tell you all about the different ways to create rapport in a blog entry like this is like trying to fill a bath with a teaspoon. However it’s my goal with these blog entries that each entry communicates something of value to you, i.e. an important principle you can relate to and that has real value and importantly, leaves you with an idea of how you can put it to work and try it out for yourself today or tomorrow in the real world.
With the above in mind how would it be if I shared with you my No.1 secret for creating rapport with others and especially those in business? Okay…well you may have got a clue from the title above “We fight the same demons”….
Before I fully explain this principle first please allow me to set the scene by telling you a very quick story that my Dad told me about the way people were before the Second World War versus how they became during it.
Neighbours who had not spoken for years suddenly began to reconcile
My Father told me that as soon as war broke out he noticed that the incidence of people squabbling, arguing and falling out with each other seemed to noticeably and significantly reduce. My Dad believed that this phenomenon was due to a massive sense of unification the nation experienced as it prepared to face the threat of invasion, war and even potential death. My dad went on to explain for example how he noticed that as a consequence, neighbours who had fallen out (and who not spoken for years), suddenly began to reconcile with each other and even work together on projects such as building air raid shelters in one another’s gardens. Many others too saw it as a good time to ‘patch up their differences’, join together in the war effort and form a united front against a common enemy.
Facing adversity together creates a massive sense of rapport and a bond that often lasts a lifetime
As the bombs began to fall and thousands perished on the soil of our country it quickly dawned on almost everybody in this proud nation of ours that everyday could be your last day and that everyday you survived was a blessing and a precious time to be cherished. As a consequence of living in this constant state of turmoil and adversity people squabbled less and got along a whole lot more. You see the war united people and regardless of any differences they had in normal conditions they were, due to the war, ‘fighting the same demons’. It was this single aspect that made them a lot more in tune with each other than they ever would have been in normal circumstances. Put another way the outbreak of war triggered a state of rapport, harmony and camaraderie between people that just wasn’t the norm in peacetime conditions.
You have to truly understand what frightens and threatens people!
If you can understand and relate to what is written above then you have probably just discovered one of the finest and most noble ways you can align yourself with another human being. You have to truly understand what frightens and threatens them and not only let them know that you realise what these things are but also that you can offer them tangible solutions and real and genuine help and support.
So yes my friend, there are hundreds, if not thousands of ways of creating rapport with others but in my humble experience there is none so powerful as the method I call: “We fight the same demons”
But as ever, don’t just take my word for it, go out now and find somebody fighting their demons, do your absolute best to understand their problems and challenges and then help them with their struggle, then following this stand back and watch how you have made a friend for life.
I insist on only one condition in return for sharing this, my most powerful rapport creating secret with you and it’s that you use this secret with absolute integrity and not for the selfish manipulation of others.
Happy demon fighting!